I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
I walk into the pharmacy and I'm like "I need three morning after pills" and the guy was like "uhhhh". All I said was "we didn't plan it, we all just got laid the same night"
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
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