Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
I never want a future conversation of ours to include the words "quart of semen" in it
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
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