She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
Randomize
