i will never coherently bang her
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
I am wearing two different shoes and just swallowed my gum. Wake the fuck up and bang the bartender already.
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
Randomize
