I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
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