exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
I need moral support for this bender
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
Randomize