Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
I may have told her we're dating for a handjob, Fake tits are overrated.
I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
That's totally the Emoji for "just ran into some girl who knows I know she had an abortion"
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
Randomize
