I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
FML I accidentally sent the text about his bruised balls as a group text that included his brother and my boss.
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
Randomize
