he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
Randomize
