If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
Randomize
