How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
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