Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
She's laying here with her head in my lap stoned, eating Doritos, whining about her boyfriend, and listening to Cher. Fuck the friend zone.
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
Randomize
