Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
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