Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
Randomize
