her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
... thanks for letting me perform minor surgery on myself last night.
I figured if you were smart enough to sterilize with vodka, you could handle it.
I totally just friend requested the girl I met in jail last night so that I could give her back the sunglasses she lent me upon our release. See, I'm not a total delinquent.
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
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