i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
Randomize
