And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
Randomize
