Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
Randomize
