Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
I made her dinner: Beefaroni with grated parmesan cheese on top. Luckily she showed up drunk and gave me head, "For spending so much time preparing."
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
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