Well the candle wax mightve been sexy if he didn't drop the candle and light half my bed on fire
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
Randomize