what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
Randomize
