I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
...i apologize for hitting you up so much tonight im just kinda in a little pickle. im going to sleep in my car near u so pretty plz lmk if you head home...
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
Randomize
