im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
yeah, you could tell they werent used to the strange things that i say. they were all outright shocked when i told one guy i hoped someone kidnapped him and stretched his dickhole over a fire hydrant
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
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