Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
Bridesmaid dress fitting. I look like a Weeble and Michelle looks like Malibu Barbie. I have to keep reminding myself that she has herpes so really, the playing field is more level than it might initially seem.
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
Randomize
