Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
Just taxi'd to the airport holding a zip lock bag of my own vomit. Bachelorette success.
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
Randomize
