they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
I just saw an appointment in my phone called "it's been a month" I think I drunkly did that after I slept with Paul to remind myself to check if I got knocked up... I'm smarter drunk than sober.
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
Randomize
