Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
Randomize
