when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
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