yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
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