Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
These 19 Underage Drinkers Epicly Got By With A Horrible Fake ID
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
These Are The 21 Strangest Sexual Fantasy Confessions
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
COCAINE IS GR8