haha omg you stole $185 from a passed out drunk indian on your porch and called the ambulance??
savin' lives aint cheap
yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
I just caught my mom fingering herself in the bathroom...Im moving out.
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
I'm eating tomato paste and drinking banana juice that is expired. Can we please get groceries tonight?
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
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