I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
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