I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
you left your dildo in my car
rules of finders keepers apply
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
Randomize
