First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
I just gave her a sobriety test in the middle of the baking aisle.
And the results, officer?
She's fucked.
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
there is another microwave in the elevator.
Randomize
