Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
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