Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
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