Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
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You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
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