At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
So I'm pretty sure I fucked the dept of homeland security guy on my kitchen table. No recollection of it, but there are signs.
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
I shit you not. I was sitting on Brian's balcony...still drunk from the night before, and a hummingbird flew onto the patio, stared me right in the face and flew away. I feel like it was God's way of telling me, "Stop drinking."
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize
