I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
gotta love it when a reminder comes up on your phone and u think u forgot about a meeting or something then u read it and its only to remind me to go to the titty bar at 3
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
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