I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
Randomize
