your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
That awkward moment when you realize that last night you walked from in n out to petco, bought a mouse for $3, named it mogar, taught it how to skateboard on a techdeck, made it a home out of a trash can, fed it fruity pebbles and cheese, and then forgot where you left it.
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
Randomize
