i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
Randomize
