Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
listen if there's one thing I'm asking of you tonight is that you buy me a cow for my farmville.
Tell me you're stoned. It's 2:40am.
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
...then she kept trying to make balloon animals with my flacid penis. I'm never drinking whisky with you again.
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
My one night stand asked me out to dinner. When he came to pick me up I got in the back seat. I thought he sent an uber. Awkward.
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
