yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
We're going to shave my junk and take pictures of it wearing fake mustaches we found at the dollar store. They're uncannily realistic; much better than the cockstaches of my youth.
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
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