new low, i just stole money from my 5 year old sister to buy condoms
you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
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