The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
Randomize
