I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
Randomize
