I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
So uh... Did you mail me business cards that describe my profession as "tortured soul"?
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
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