the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
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