i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
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