I changed my tire completely alone.. I could totally win survivor
Its my greatest physical accomplishment
Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
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