butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
Randomize
