They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
Randomize
