She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
Randomize
