there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
Randomize
