I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
Randomize
