so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
Never drink rum straight from the bottle, even if people say it'll make you a pirate. It won't: it'll make you a bumbling shitfaced idiot who just drank rum straight from the bottle.
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
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