allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed
I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
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