Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
I hate it when the guy who runs the chicken and waffles truck is convinced that I run a cult.
that is the opposite of a normal text message.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
Yo this huge scar on my head from the car accident is truly a vag magnet. Probably because I'm telling people I was attacked by a mountain lion and killed it with my bare hands. But hey when life gives you lemons, you use them to get pussy
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
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