you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
I had my own version of the Hangover last night. I woke up to a disassembled Christmas tree, shit on the futon, and a hamster in the bathroom with a necklace on that said "Feed Me Bitch." I don't own a hamster. I don't know what I drank last night, but I want to do it again.
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
There's always time for handjobs
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Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
My feet surprised me
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
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