I need hand sanitizer and jesus.
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
An open call to all exes! i have a drunk text policy that requires i delete any and all texts after drink 3, however i have reason to believe i have done something stupid. if i have texted you that "I love you", "miss you" and/or conveyed any interest in getting back together with you in the last 24 hours i was belligerent and lying. That is all.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
Randomize
