you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster.
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
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