zippers are such a cool invention
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
Your drunken mistake is coming over to see if she wants to buy any of our furniture. I know youre desperate, but try not to fuck her, without a condom, for a fourth time, while shes there.
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
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