I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
my brother wants to know why there are wet balloons in his bed and i think you forgot to throw the condoms away but im too hungover to check if thats what hes talking about
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
Shitshow foam night was such a success
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
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