Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
I made a joke about The Hemingway being a really boring sex position where you blandly describe all the action and then kill yourself after you orgasm. He stopped responding. I've GOT to stop talking to everyone like they're you.
Got out of the uber to projectile vomit in the McDonald's drive thru. Gonna take a break from the Cuervo for a while.
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
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